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I said spam! Huh! Good God Y'all! What is it good for?
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Author:  Marlowe [ Mon Feb 13, 2006 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:  I said spam! Huh! Good God Y'all! What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing.

Right folks the spam in this place has reached annoying levels. People are actually dreading trawling the forums through the piles of shit posts that you all seem to think are valid contributions to this glorious forum. This will lead to people just not bothering to come onto the forum. This means less decent posters and a higher spammer to contributer ratio.

Shame on you all. Shame I love peachy so.

Even the Spam Goblin has become woefully depressed at the futility of trying to delete spam. It used to be that spam happened maybe once or twice a day. I look at some of the posts on here and its like a bad comedy that makes you weep for the future of humanity... a bit like Gimme Gimme Gimme

The little green one is currently in a private hospital in an attempt to revive the poor little fella's zeal and wit. The doctors say he may live, but only they can replace his spamylase enzyme gland. We can rebuild him!

For now I have enlisted the help of a new spam buster... do not fall foul of it for it has no mercy.

So what can we do to improve matters.

1. Before you start a new topic, stop and think. Do we really need a whole thread stating that you feel sad or that you managed to go wee wee all buy yourself today? Do we need yet another thread filled with random pointless smileys and declarations for the love of cheese and other fermented milkstuffs?

2. Do Not BUMP! There is no excuse to drag up a month old topic ever, unless it suddenly gains new and wonderous relevancy. Obviously if someone here was diagnosed with cancer and a month later it was an all clear then sure bump away! Share the good news! You haven't not got cancer? Then leave it out.

3. Posts that contain LOL are pointless. Do we need a whole post that requires a person to load your overlarge avatar and signature yet again, just to point out that you LOLed even though you did anything but?
Same goes for :D :) and :( times 100. One smiley is enough and a smiley on its own isn't enough.

4. At least attempt to be witty... c'mon is it that hard to put a little effort in your posts? Quality not quantity!

5. You should be attempting to make people laugh, cry, vomit onto their keyboard and crack a chubby at the latest hotty in the pictures section. Possibly all at once. Again LOL and LMAO doesn't cover it.

6. Before you make a post, just about other people. Are you posting this because you genuinely think that they will be interested in what you are about to post? Remember this post will be taking up minutes of a persons life... time they cannot reclaim.

7. Remember not to feed Nicey after midnight.

(He's lardy enough already)

Follow these few simple rules and life will be la hunkeh dorey

Author:  nicey=GCHQ= [ Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

what a wonderful return post...

Just so you know with whom you are dealing
And from my motion in poetry you find yourself reeling
The Poet is here to eat all those crap posts
Like a selection of fine slimy pork product roasts

More annoying I am than the little green dude
Although alas you'll find I'm not half as rude
But make no mistake, let me be blunt
I'll hesitate not to delete crap posts and call you a naughty naughty spam person (I struggled for a rhyme here)

The Poet!

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