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 Post subject: Short jokes here
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:07 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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put your short jokes/one liners in this topic....as in.... :-


A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barman says: "Sorry but we don't serve string here." So the string goes back outside, ties himself together and ruffles his hair. He goes back into the bar and again asks for a drink. The barman says: "Aren't you that piece of string that was in here a minute ago?" The string replies: "No! I'm a frayed knot


and :-

Q) What's brown and sticky?
A) A stick

Q) What's round and orange?
A) An orange

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


Last edited by nicey=GCHQ= on Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: moth
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:08 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says; "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."

Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."

Man: "Yes, I know."

Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"

Man: "The light was on..."

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject: pygmy
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:12 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead dinosaur with a
pygmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked, "Did you kill that?"

The pygmy said, "Yes."

The hunter asked, "How could a little fella like you kill a huge beast
like that?"

Said the pygmy, "I killed it with my club."

The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?"








The pygmy replied, "There's about 90 of us."

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject: blondes
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:17 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."

The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."

The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."

She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:17 pm 
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Get it up ya!
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Location: Probing the ring of Uranus
a good book to read is > CAT IN THE BED ....BY CLAWD BALLS

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WHERE'S EDDIE???????
Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem


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 Post subject: dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:18 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

He used to lie awake at night worndering if there was a dog.

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject: whats a shitzu???
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:29 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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.
.
.
.
.
one with no penguins :wink: :wink: :wink:

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject: boom boom...footy.
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:56 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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Location: anywhere but nowhere
Michael Owen walks into a nightclub, goes straight up to a woman, starts
feeling her t*ts and then says " get your coat love, you're coming home
with me".

The woman replies.................... "you're a little forward, aren't you?

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:06 pm 
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Decidedly uninterested
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Location: I watch you while you sleep
* Tommy Cooper joke *

"I was in the dentist's the other day, sat in the chair and thinking this is odd, instead of going up & down, up & down, it goes backwards & forwards.

Just then the dentist walks in and says:

'Mr. Cooper - get out of the filing cabinet please'".

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The Pancreas of S.T.F.U. | Never take life too seriously - nobody gets out alive anyway.
Disco_jim: um..... I have no excuse. | Chips: Thank the Beef | Rev Dr: Beef, I think i wee'd a little


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:33 pm 
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The Librarian- OOK OOK!
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Location: tree
An Irishman walks into a Builder's Yard and asks for a job....


The foreman quickly decides to test hims and asks


"What's the difference between , say, erm.....a Joist and Girder?"


He replies


"Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust"

:wink:

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Mostly Harmful.
Vive La France!
I want my sig back!


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:40 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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aim_x_here wrote:
An Irishman walks into a Builder's Yard and asks for a job....


The foreman quickly decides to test hims and asks


"What's the difference between , say, erm.....a Joist and Girder?"


He replies


"Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust"

:wink:



WOW..WAY ABOVE MY HEAD... IS THAT JAMES JOIST ANDWHO?

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Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu....



I’z leakin… bring amberlamps


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:10 pm 
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''

She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:10 pm 
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Humping a donkey
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Location: Folkestone, Kent.
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his flys.

Barman: 'Do you know you've got a steering wheel hanging out of your flys?'

Man: 'Yeh, I know. It's driving me nuts.'

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Takes No Trap! | TFPC


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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:28 pm 
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Ive seen J naked :P
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Location: Well right now im sitting in my chair
Sry in advance for this but

What goes CLUCK CLUCK BANG

A chicken in a minefield.

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 Post subject:
 Post Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 11:37 am 
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Sex God
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Location: In da Berkshire init !!
2 Irish men sitting on the floor - one fell off.


Why dont cannibals eat clowns - coz they taste funny !!

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S.T.F.U Wannabe


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