| Author |
Message |
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: Short jokes here  Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:07 pm |
|
 |
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
 |
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
|
put your short jokes/one liners in this topic....as in.... :-
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The barman says: "Sorry but we don't serve string here." So the string goes back outside, ties himself together and ruffles his hair. He goes back into the bar and again asks for a drink. The barman says: "Aren't you that piece of string that was in here a minute ago?" The string replies: "No! I'm a frayed knot
and :-
Q) What's brown and sticky?
A) A stick
Q) What's round and orange?
A) An orange
_________________   Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
Last edited by nicey=GCHQ= on Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:16 pm, edited 3 times in total.
|
|
  |
|
 |
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: moth Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:08 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
|
A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says; "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "The light was on..."
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: pygmy Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:12 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
|
A hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead dinosaur with a
pygmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked, "Did you kill that?"
The pygmy said, "Yes."
The hunter asked, "How could a little fella like you kill a huge beast
like that?"
Said the pygmy, "I killed it with my club."
The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?"
The pygmy replied, "There's about 90 of us."
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: blondes Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:17 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
|
A blonde went to eletronic store and she asked, "How is much is this TV?"
The salesman said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a brunette. She asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry, we don''t sell to blondes."
The next day she came back as a red head and asked the salesman how much the TV was. He said, "Sorry we don''t sell to blondes."
She replied, " I came in here as a brunette and a red head. How do you know I am a blonde?"
"Because that is not a TV, it''s a microwave."
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
GLASGOWKISS=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:17 pm |
|
|
| Get it up ya! |
 |
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 4:11 pm
Posts: 5206
Location: Probing the ring of Uranus
|
|
a good book to read is > CAT IN THE BED ....BY CLAWD BALLS
_________________ 
WHERE'S EDDIE???????
Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem
|
|
| |
|
|
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: dyslexic agnostic insomniac? Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:18 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
|
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
He used to lie awake at night worndering if there was a dog.
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: whats a shitzu??? Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:29 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
.
.
.
.
.
one with no penguins  _________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: boom boom...footy. Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 3:56 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
|
Michael Owen walks into a nightclub, goes straight up to a woman, starts
feeling her t*ts and then says " get your coat love, you're coming home
with me".
The woman replies.................... "you're a little forward, aren't you?
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
LeBeourfCurtaine
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 4:06 pm |
|
|
| Decidedly uninterested |
 |
Joined: Thu Mar 18, 2004 11:10 pm
Posts: 10184
Location: I watch you while you sleep
|
|
* Tommy Cooper joke *
"I was in the dentist's the other day, sat in the chair and thinking this is odd, instead of going up & down, up & down, it goes backwards & forwards.
Just then the dentist walks in and says:
'Mr. Cooper - get out of the filing cabinet please'".
_________________  The Pancreas of S.T.F.U. | Never take life too seriously - nobody gets out alive anyway. Disco_jim: um..... I have no excuse. | Chips: Thank the Beef | Rev Dr: Beef, I think i wee'd a little
|
|
| |
|
|
|
aim_x_here
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:33 pm |
|
|
| The Librarian- OOK OOK! |
 |
Joined: Mon Mar 08, 2004 12:42 am
Posts: 4658
Location: tree
|
An Irishman walks into a Builder's Yard and asks for a job....
The foreman quickly decides to test hims and asks
"What's the difference between , say, erm.....a Joist and Girder?"
He replies
"Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust"
_________________ Brother ANg-jung soon-um-bongo (Formerly Aim).  Mostly Harmful. Vive La France!I want my sig back!
|
|
| |
|
|
|
nicey=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 7:40 pm |
|
|
| it is I! Diabetes man! |
|
Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
|
aim_x_here wrote: An Irishman walks into a Builder's Yard and asks for a job.... The foreman quickly decides to test hims and asks "What's the difference between , say, erm.....a Joist and Girder?" He replies "Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust" WOW..WAY ABOVE MY HEAD... IS THAT JAMES JOIST ANDWHO? _________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
|
|
| |
|
|
|
The¬Pain
|
Post subject: Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2004 10:10 pm |
|
|
|
|
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.
When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in fornt of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''
She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Pony =GCHQ=
|
Post subject: Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 1:10 pm |
|
|
| Humping a donkey |
 |
Joined: Mon May 24, 2004 1:52 pm
Posts: 3615
Location: Folkestone, Kent.
|
|
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his flys.
Barman: 'Do you know you've got a steering wheel hanging out of your flys?'
Man: 'Yeh, I know. It's driving me nuts.'
_________________  Takes No Trap! | TFPC
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Deaths Apprentice=GCHQ=
|
Post subject: Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2004 2:28 pm |
|
|
| Ive seen J naked :P |
 |
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 2:22 pm
Posts: 2552
Location: Well right now im sitting in my chair
|
|
Sry in advance for this but
What goes CLUCK CLUCK BANG
A chicken in a minefield.
_________________ 
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Sgt.King =GCHQ=
|
Post subject: Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2004 11:37 am |
|
|
| Sex God |
 |
Joined: Fri Mar 26, 2004 8:00 pm
Posts: 422
Location: In da Berkshire init !!
|
|
2 Irish men sitting on the floor - one fell off.
Why dont cannibals eat clowns - coz they taste funny !!
_________________ 
S.T.F.U Wannabe
|
|
| |
|
|
|
