I get on extremely well with the lesbians next door.
They asked me what I would like for my birthday.
I was stunned when they gave me a Rolex.
It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby "Is this yours?" she asked.
"Probably." said Paddy "She burns everything else!

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hahaha

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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.

but what a surprise a joke like that would come from Slaps.

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FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish)

Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman in a psychology lesson.

Teacher asks Englishman what's the opposite of joy? He says sorrow.
He asks the Scotsman what's the opposite of depression? He says happiness.















He asks Paddy what's the opposite of woe? He says "feckin giddy up.

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I woke for the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.

Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.

He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.

Astonished I got back into bed.

My wife said, 'darling you're shaking, what is it?’

'You'll never believe what I've just seen' I said,

“That Bastard next door has still got my bloody shovel'.

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lol Slaps you are an evil man.

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..................................
FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish)

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophiliac, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.

"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.

"Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it," said the sadist.

"Let's have sex with a cat, torture it then kill it," said the murderer.

"Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it then feck it again," said the necrophiliac.

"Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, feck it again, then set it on fire," said the pyromaniac.




























Silence took over then the masochist said.... "Meow?"

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"If your going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."- Winston Churchill
three and a half foot long??? dude, it could have swallowed you whole! 3jorn=GCHQ=

Haha

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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.

Haha that one was awesome

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..................................
FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish)

Loving this thread... give moar!

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We are DC, we are BF2, we are CS:S, we are WoW, we are EVE, we are more, we are one... WE ARE GCHQ!

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

First body: Pierre Dubois, Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the
enormous smile, Inspector,' says the Coroner.

'Second body: Hamish Campbell, Scotsman, 25, won £50,000 on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?'

Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Paddy Murphy, Irish,30, struck by lightning.'
'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector 'Thought he was having his picture taken.'

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Your Soul Is Mine

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"If your going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."- Winston Churchill
three and a half foot long??? dude, it could have swallowed you whole! 3jorn=GCHQ=