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Tjolbi=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke  Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 5:54 pm |
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| Ostracised! |
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:41 pm
Posts: 9042
Location: cooking nades in the backyard
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Last night, I put up a sign at my local train station saying "Naked Prophet Mohammed pictures THIS WAY". This morning, there were 12 dead Muslims on the live rail. What a tragic accident. Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/religion/musl ... z3OREcleZ8  
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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
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nicey=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 7:24 pm |
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| it is I! Diabetes man! |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
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Tjolbi=GCHQ= wrote: Last night, I put up a sign at my local train station saying "Naked Prophet Mohammed pictures THIS WAY". This morning, there were 12 dead Muslims on the live rail. What a tragic accident. Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/religion/musl ... z3OREcleZ8 lol... ironic he has 'ham' in his name. _________________   Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:14 pm |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
Posts: 109345
Location: manchester
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I've always had an over-active imagination. Like that time I found myself drowning in an ocean of Tango.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 11:35 pm |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
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Location: manchester
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In an interview before Michael Jackson's death he was asked if he was upset about not having a normal childhood and missing out on things like being a Boy Scout.
He replied "No I didn't at all, many people don't know this, but I used to be a brownie".
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Lemon =GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:20 am |
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| an unsung hero! |
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 1:13 am
Posts: 5852
Location: on the run from the boyz i love this city
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_________________  "If your going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."- Winston Churchill three and a half foot long??? dude, it could have swallowed you whole! 3jorn=GCHQ=
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nicey=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 9:46 pm |
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| it is I! Diabetes man! |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
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Ive just received the class photo from my sons school in oldham with over half the faces pixelated.
I think the school is taking this "no images of Mohammed" thing a bit far
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
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nicey=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 9:50 pm |
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| it is I! Diabetes man! |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:15 pm
Posts: 14174
Location: anywhere but nowhere
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"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."
Said the Malaysian shark.
_________________ Went to a zoo, they only had one animal there, a dog............. It was a shitzu.... I’z leakin… bring amberlamps
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Lemon =GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2015 11:12 pm |
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| an unsung hero! |
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 1:13 am
Posts: 5852
Location: on the run from the boyz i love this city
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ouch 
_________________ "If your going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."- Winston Churchill three and a half foot long??? dude, it could have swallowed you whole! 3jorn=GCHQ=
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[QBS]Dr.Strangelove
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Mon Jan 26, 2015 12:13 am |
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| Bow down to the master |
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Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:22 pm
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Location: satnav offline
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m
mmmmYou sir, are a swaggering addlepated jackanapes!
m
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Tjolbi=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 6:14 pm |
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| Ostracised! |
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:41 pm
Posts: 9042
Location: cooking nades in the backyard
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Quote: A bloke goes into an antique shop and asks how much the brass cat in the window is. The owner says, "£50 for the cat and £50 for its story." The bloke says he'll just have the cat and sets off home. As he leaves the shop, a cat starts following him, then ten cats, then a hundred cats, then a thousand cats, so he hoys the brass cat in the river and all the other cats dive in after it. The bloke goes back to the shop and the owner says, "Back for the story, eh?" The bloke replies, "No. Got any brass Pakis?" Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/all-ra ... z3V2bGA4JS
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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 6:41 pm |
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| Bow down to the master |
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Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:22 pm
Posts: 2036
Location: U will know.. when I kill u
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Oi thats not nice _________________  .................................. FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish) 
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happyslappy
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 9:35 am |
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| that was a stupid comment btw |
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Joined: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:40 pm
Posts: 109345
Location: manchester
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A few 'one liner' smiles
Murphy says to Paddy, "What ya talkin into an envelope for?"
"I'm sending a voice-mail"
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.
"Blow that" says Mick, have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"
Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave.
As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it.
I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!!
Blow this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.
I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I start a new job in Seoul next week.
I thought it was a good Korea move.
I was driving this morning when I saw a parked AA van.
The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable.
I thought to myself, that guy's heading for a breakdown.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs are not Happy.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that 2:30 am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
The wife has been missing a week now.
Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:45 am |
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Joined: Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:22 pm
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Location: U will know.. when I kill u
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Lol last one is a typical Mr. Plunty joke
_________________ .................................. FYI: Donald Duck = Anders And (in Danish)
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Lemon =GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 11:48 am |
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| an unsung hero! |
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Joined: Tue Jun 29, 2004 1:13 am
Posts: 5852
Location: on the run from the boyz i love this city
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_________________ "If your going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."- Winston Churchill three and a half foot long??? dude, it could have swallowed you whole! 3jorn=GCHQ=
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Tjolbi=GCHQ=
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Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2015 7:21 pm |
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| Ostracised! |
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:41 pm
Posts: 9042
Location: cooking nades in the backyard
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Quote: "You know Dave?" The barman asked me. "The ex-army guy?" "Yeah. What about him?" "He took a loaded gun into the local Mosque last night." "Shit," I said. "Did he kill anyone?" "No. He was overpowered before he could get a single shot off." "By the police?" "Nope. The smell." Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/asian/ ... z3WYQS4XVw
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The banhammer thirsts for tards | There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload'.
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