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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:59 pm 
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it is I! Diabetes man!
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Tjolbi=GCHQ= wrote:
Quote:
"You know Dave?" The barman asked me. "The ex-army guy?"
"Yeah. What about him?"
"He took a loaded gun into the local Mosque last night."
"Shit," I said. "Did he kill anyone?"
"No. He was overpowered before he could get a single shot off."
"By the police?"
"Nope. The smell."

Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/racism/asian/ ... z3WYQS4XVw



lol

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 7:41 pm 
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Quote:
The Italian film industry is reportedly set to make a follow up to the 1992 film White Men Can't Jump.

Black Men Can't Swim.

Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/other/cinema/ ... z3XyDK0cD5



:twisted: :twisted: :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 11:16 am 
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that was a stupid comment btw
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A man says to his wife, "What would you say if I told you I'd won the lottery?"

She says, "I'd take half and then leave you."

"Excellent," the guy says. "I had three numbers come up and won a tenner. Here's a fiver... now feck off!"

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 11:17 am 
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that was a stupid comment btw
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A Yorkishireman and a Scouser go into Greggs the bakers.
The Scouser nicks 3 pies and puts them in his pocket, then boasts to the Yorkshireman, "Did you see that? The staff never even saw me."
The Yorkie says, "That's nowt mate, watch this."

So the Yorkshireman goes back into the shop and says to the manager, "Gi'us a pie and I'll show thee some magic," and eats the pie in front of him, and then does it twice more.

The manager says, "So, where's the magic in that?"

The Yorkie says, "Go and check that Scouser's pocket."

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 2:46 pm 
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SPANISH
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:lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 3:45 pm 
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did make me laugh that :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 7:11 pm 
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Haha :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 10:28 pm 
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:lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 4:22 pm 
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Quote:
Prince Philip has been criticised for asking a volunteer at a community centre, "So who do you sponge off then?"

Seems a bit like the pot calling the kettle black or, as Prince Philip would say, a bit like the coon calling the nigger a wog.

Courtesy of Sickipedia.org: http://www.sickipedia.org/celebrities/p ... z3gA8NG5y4


:lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2015 8:53 pm 
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Victoria Beckham and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed. Posh told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily.
"What happened?" asked Posh .
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asked Posh.
The driver replied: "I'm Victoria Beckham's driver, and I just killed the cow."

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Sun Jul 19, 2015 11:48 am 
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LOL :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 1:27 pm 
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that was a stupid comment btw
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So, I was walking through Mancheser and saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."

I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if He could help me.

I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I Asked, "Do have a copy of the U.K. Immigration Policy Book regarding Muslims?"

The clerk said, "feck off, get out and stay out!"

I said, "Yeah, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?"

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2015 4:21 pm 
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SPANISH
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:lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2015 8:35 pm 
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that was a stupid comment btw
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The wife decided to take all the family to Alton Towers. Vertical drops, 5 "G" neck braking turns, loop the loops!

Then we arrived.

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 Post subject: Re: Last night - another lemon style joke
 Post Posted: Thu Jul 23, 2015 4:02 pm 
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SPANISH
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True :lol: :lol:

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